"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." ~George Orwell~

She was standing right in front of it. It called her, allured her and she was unable to resist. She knew he was confused, probably wondering. They had been walking together  and talking, well more like bickering,  about love. Until it called her. Its shiny reflection, the peaceful and melodic waves obligated her to come over. She didn’t finish her sentence, her thought, she just obeyed. She was never able to resist the beauty of the moon and the invitation of the sea. So she was just standing there, far enough that the water didn’t reach her; close enough that she couldn't break the pull that held her there. Her hand shot up, right up to the necklace dangling right by her heart, and she turned it over on her hand absentmindedly. The shiny cross, the ring that meant nothing and everything to her, always helped her figure out her next move. They never failed her.

She felt the breeze ruffle her hair, his eyes on her burning through the back of her head, and a smile spreading over her face. She was tired of holding back. So she crossed her arms at the hem of her shirt and pulled it off. She allowed herself to look back at him for a second, only to be surprised by the adoration, the confusion, and the hunger in his eyes. He wanted her, he cared for her.

She decided her shorts were comfortable enough, and started running into the water until it was deep enough for her to dive. It was cold, but she didn’t notice. She was shot with so many emotions and so many different feelings with every wave that crashed into her skin that temperature was the last thing she thought about. She finally turned to face him, he was knee deep in the water, staring, concerned. Their gaze immediately met and engaged in a silent duel, each hoping the other would surrender. He did. He turned around and walked out of the water; he took his shirt off and doffed his pants . Wearing nothing but boxers and the heart she had given him; he followed her, wondering what he would do once he was next to her.

God, she was weird. She was always a mystery to him, she was confusing and cynical, pessimistic and completely rational, contradictory and understanding, smart and selfless, loyal and kind. She was beautiful and he loved her, not that he’d tell her that much. He wanted to kiss her, to freeze this moment with her under the moonlight, he wanted to never let her go. She gave him a shy smile and he didn’t care for reasons anymore. He rushed to her side and sweetly tested the waters, when he looked at her again he saw all the encouragement he needed in her smile, and this time he kissed her and didn’t hold back. In that kiss he poured everything he’d never had the courage to tell her and he was glad that she opened up enough for him to be able to. She kissed him back; trying to let her walls down and let him in. She was tired of hiding, she wanted to let go and be able to loose herself in his lips. But something held her back.

She wasn’t ready to move on yet, it seemed like she would never be. He deserved someone that was able to give him a relationship, he deserved to have the best of her but she couldn’t give him that. For as long as the shiny cross and the ring  never left her neck, she could only give herself to one person. He was not that person, he was the only one that was close enough to break the chains that held her, but he was far enough that she couldn’t let go. So she broke the kiss with the pretense of needing to get some air and while she rested her forehead against his, she whispered her apologies and finally let her tears fall. She found herself wanting to let go for the first time, truly hoping she could soon be what he deserved. 

She took his hand and guided him out of the water, they picked up their clothes and without a word walked side by side. She decide to stay with him instead of going home. They walked into the beach house together; they changed into dry clothes and slipped into opposite sides of the bed. Her hand found its usual spot right on top of his heart, and his hands encircled her waist pulling her close to him. He whispered words of love when he thought she was asleep and a lone tear fell from her eyes. She asked the universe to break her chains, to let her be able to say those words again, to be able to say them back, but most importantly; she asked anyone or anything who listened to mend her heart enough for her to feel and mean those words again.

Love, that’s all she asked for.

Going through old letters and mail I found some quotes that were given to me by someone with whom i will always share my life with. Hope you like 'em :P

- Unknown


- Unknown


--Rumi


--Henri Nouwen


Death ends a life, not a relationship.
--Robert Benchley

I know i've been a little lost lately, but school and marching band have taken the task to keep me busy all the time... It's short and probably not good, but at least its something new :P.. Here it goes, Enjoy!

And I just have to look through the window,
anything I can do to just look away
and keep you from solving the cryptic message that lies within.

I try to look at the moon, at the wall,
at your lips, at your nose,
but my eyes apparently have a mind of their own
and they stop and drift to look right into yours.

Just like that I'm exposed
you finally get pass the walls and unlock the the mystery
I try to keep the emotion from them but then I get lost
and somewhere between my brain, my heart, my eyes and your eyes
you discover me, and I find that i've never been lost in a sweeter place.

And just for a second we forget about everyone else
we question and the rules, and desperately want to break them
until one of us blinks and were back to reality.
But we both know that there is no sleeping tonight,
and hopefully we'll find another reason to back out.
Knowing that soon they'll finally run out
and maybe our eyes wont have to be so far away anymore.

Me miras desde tan alto,
y timidamente me sonries.
Sabes que no necesitas explicarme nada,
pero has esperado tanto tiempo por este momento
que con apuro salen de tu boca palabras sin sentido.

Resplandeciente como siempre,
temes que te vuelva a abandonar.
Tratas de hablar pero una vez mas
las palabras te traicionan.

Notas algo extraño en mi,
ingenuamente quedas en un estado de fascinacion
del que te rehúsas a salir
pero rechazas desesperadamente.

Me miras a los ojos y entiendes
que he vuelto para quedarme.
Con una sonrisa de mi parte
acordamos silenciosamente
reunirnos diariamente en ese mismo lugar.

Allí, donde hace ya varios años comenzamos a dibujar,
donde gradualmente fuimos abriendo nuestros ojos,
donde nos desprendimos de un universo pretendido,
donde nos desnudamos de prejuicios, excusas y pretextos;
donde nuestras ideas flotaban sin temor a ser acorraladas.

Acordamos reunirnos dia tras dia
en la esquina de la luna
un segundo antes de desaparecer
y un segundo despues de enloquecer;
para compartirnos sin palabras
y fundirnos en miradas.

Belief

• I believe excuses are meaningless.
• I believe that without fear there wouldn't be courage.
• I believe in God and somewhat in the bible, but not in the institution of church.
• I believe there is not a fit definition for love.
• I admire people who have the ability to trust others easily, but i admire even more those who have the strength to trust themselves.
• I am afraid to die and terrified by the idea that it could happen any moment.
• I believe happiness is an utopia.
• I believe you can't describe feelings with words... with looks? Maybe.
• I'm not sure if I believe in ghosts, but I do believe that there's something else after death.
• I hate to ask for help, but I am aware that I need it.
• I believe that anyone can dance.
• I believe a lot of people are afraid of solitude because of what they might find out about themselves.
• Silence can be uncomfortable, awkward and even scary. It can also be peaceful, calming and noisy.
• I believe in contradictions.
• I believe music calms our soul, literature controls our emotions, theater bonds with our senses and dancing canalizes our thoughts.
• I believe everybody can be an artist.
• I believe nature is beautiful.
• I am terrified of things reason cannot explain.
• I want to believe that when people die they somehow stay with us.
• I believe we can change the world, I'm not sure we know how.
• I believe in hopes and wishes...miracles? Not so much.
• I believe faith in any given thing or person moves mountains.
• I believe ideas are bulletproof.
• I believe in romance and true love.
• I believe that those who really care about you would take the time to get to know you better than you know yourself.
• I believe honesty is necessary.
• I believe that the truth can hurt sometimes but is always better than a lie.
• I like to believe the heart is more than just a muscle.
• I believe the best relationships are those we never imagine happening or thought they could be possible.
• I believe that opposite characters are attracted to each other.
• I believe i was not born to live in a small town.
• I believe the smile of a baby can make you melt.
• I believe that abortion is murder.
• I am aware that I'm bossy, and to be honest sometimes I like it.:P
• I believe that one of the biggest fears humankind has is the fear to be rejected.
• I believe that love has no gender, age, race, religion or nationality.
• I believe that you can't control who you fall in love with.
• I believe no person is better than someone else.
• I don't believe there's an actual freedom.
• I like to believe love is unconditional.
• I like to believe that friendship doesn't end with distance, and that my friends now will be the same after I leave.
• I believe in fairy tales and shooting stars.
• I like to believe that some day all the children in the world will have the chance to have a family, a house, food, water, clothes, education, but most of all, love.
• I'd rather die fighting against war than fighting in it.
• I believe everybody is special in their own way.
• I believe that rainy days are the best days to get in touch with myself.
• I believe that family doesn't have the people you are related to.
• I admit i am a hopeless romantic.
• I believe a good friend is that one who would rather tell me the truth even if it hurts me.
• I believe that butterflies in the stomach are so dumb, but so cute. :$
• I believe that if we are scared is because we have something to lose.
• I believe that in some way, everyone can tell how other people feel about them; even though sometimes it might be hiding somewhere deep in our subconscious.
• I want to believe that we can be reunited with the people we love after we die.
• I believe that energy does great many things to our spirit.
• I believe education opens our doors to a better future.
• In that same order, I believe school is a necessary evil.
• I believe that nothing in life is black and white; that life can also be a mix of the two.

En aquellas conversaciones donde solo se decia lo superficial pero solo se escuchaba lo elemental. Cuando la luna y yo no nos entendiamos y tu servias de mediador aunque sabias que mi naturaleza testadura nunca cederia. En aquellas ocasiones en que mientras mirabamos las estrellas nuestros corazones sincronizados escuchaban sus canciones. Cada vez que me sentia perdida en emociones escondidas y sonrisas fingidas. Cuando con tan solo una mirada las descubrias y desmentias, haciendome sentir comodamente aterrorizada. Aquella vez que nuestros corazones a gritos se encontraban y las palabras no existian. Cuando te fuiste, pero no me dejaste aunque yo hice todo lo posible por dejarte a un lado. Aquella vez que con rabia te dije que no me importabas, las ultimas palabras que escuchaste de mi boca. Cuando recibi aquella llamada telefonica y una voz simpatetica me dijo que el color, el silencio, las estrellas, las emociones y la luna habian muerto.

Bueno, todas esas cosas las encontre de nuevo un dia caminando por el parque. Pero todavia no he encontrado el camino que me lleva devuelta hacia a ti. No me acuerdo de aquella vez en la que tuve la oportunidad de decirte adios, de que mi corazon se abriera por completo y se entregara a ti. Hay dias en los que todavia espero tu llamada entusiasmada en la que nunca hablamos de nada pero siempre de todo. Todavia espero ver tus ojos azules y perderme en tus pensamientos tan reales y tan bellos. Ahora soy yo la que se imagina el futuro que tu siempre tenias planeado. Perdida en emociones escondidas y sonrisas fingidas, busco por tu luz para que me guie de vuelta a mi naturaleza testadura y a las discusiones con la luna. I'm still here missing you... and I'm not sure if I should

My cynical nature just loves this guy, he tends to write political novels that don't always en up in a happy optimistic tone. But for those of you with cynicism practically in your veins, here are some of not so cynical "Orwell quotes" ENJOY! :P


George Orwell

Shhh!... Listen to the silence, to the endless beauty of the silence; I told my mind. “ I want to be there with you” were the words that escaped from my mouth while seating by the sea. I felt the fear when you know that what you just wished is simply wrong at some level. The wind had stopped blowing a while ago so had the rain which meant our conversation was over. I cherish these moments were I get to talk to him and feel like he is listening, even when I can’t explain how; a fact that I decided to ignore and simply enjoy. I wasn’t waiting for an answer but the wind blew with such an intensity for the next few minutes that I knew he was trying to say something, as if trying to keep me in this world, to shake that thought out of my mind. But the more I felt him, the more that wish intensified, and then I realized that he was trying to make me understand how important it was for him that I didn’t wish, that I forget about this desire and move on. I suddenly thought someone said: “I Love you! And you, you love me too…. But I can’t have you wasting your life wishing you were with me!"…. I looked around and no one was there , I looked to the sky and felt like it was smiling at me, with the same smile he always gave me. I sat and let a tear fall down, and enjoyed the rest of our silence knowing that somehow he was there, watching me, loving me...

This is an excerpt from a book that is so heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time. I fell in love with it, and I fell in love even more with this little poem that the main character writes!

Azul.
It’s the color of the deepest part of the ocean. The part where dreams sink and huddle together like skeletons from the Middle Passage.
Azul
It’s the color of Billie’s voice. She had no choice. It just filled her body like a deadly gas.
Azul.
It’s the color of a winter day when it’s too cold to grow anything but stems of sadness, which are perennials.
Azul.
It’s the color of the gumball that stains your tongue. It stains it so dark that people laugh, and you don’t know why they are laughing at you. Then you think of the gumball and remember its deep shade.
Azul.
It’s the color of poor Maria’s lips as they pulled her from the pool where she dove in search of her father.
Azul.
It’s the color of the vein that Caramia searches for.
Azul.
It’s the color of loneliness.
Azul.
It’s color of the bruise on your back when you thought that you were too dark for the beating to cause a mark.
Azul.

Excerpt from: A little Piece of Sky by Nicole Bailey Williams